


You Don’t Have to Give Everything

by ZequoiaRose



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Magnus Bane, Sad Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27221386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZequoiaRose/pseuds/ZequoiaRose
Summary: So, yes. Magnus can admit that he maybe - just maybe - overreacts. Sometimes.But Alec...Alec doesn’t.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 6
Kudos: 240





	You Don’t Have to Give Everything

Magnus is known to be someone who overreacts. Anyone who knows him longer than a day seems to know this. If he’s upset, he stomps around and fusses at anyone who gets in his way. If he’s had a bad day, he’s on the couch with a strong drink the second he gets home. If he burns himself making a potion, he yells out curses until healing himself with a wave of his hand. If anyone so much as inconveniences him, they might get a face full of angry High Warlock who is ready to charge an exorbitant amount of money for whatever they want. So, yes. Magnus can admit that he maybe - just maybe - overreacts. Sometimes. 

But Alec...

Alec doesn’t. 

When Magnus is stomping around, Alec kisses him in a quick kiss. When Magnus is attempting to eat his body weight in ice cream, Alec simply shakes his head and steals the Warlock’s next bite. If Magnus is yelling and cursing after hurting himself, Alec calmly walks up to him, takes the hurt hand and places a kiss. Which always makes Magnus smile and fall in love just that much more. 

Everything that happens, Alec stays calm and collected. When he’s the one that burns his hand, he simply shrugs and goes back to whatever he was doing before Magnus realizes and takes the burn away. If Alec has a bad day, he simply cuddles up to Magnus. Overall, Alec reacts a touch better than Magnus over a lot of things. 

Which is why Magnus jumps out of his skin when Alec slams open the door with an angry curse. Magnus jumps up from where he had been lounging on the couch and watches as his beloved practically yanks his gear off then throws his bow in its general direction. If Magnus hadn’t already been clued in that something is wrong- that would have done it. He swears Alec treats that bow like a child some days. 

Alec goes storming into the bedroom, leaving Magnus speechless in his wake. He sits frozen for a few seconds, then hesitantly follows to where Alec has disappeared. 

“Fucking hell!”

Magnus almost laughs. He’s the potty mouth in this relationship. Alec hardly ever curses. Not like this at least. 

“Darling?” Magnus tries. Alec is stalking across the bedroom, looking to head to the shower. He’s already taken his shirt off, and while Magnus would usually be making some lewd joke, he refrains for the time being. 

Alec freezes, seeming to remember where he is. His back is towards Magnus, his shoulders practically vibrating with tension. The younger fists his hands through his hair, acting like he’s going to rip it out. 

“My love,” Magnus walks and gently pulls his hands off his hair. “What’s wrong?” 

Alec flips around, making Magnus take a step back to observe the younger’s eyes are shimmering with angry tears. “I can’t- I can’t talk about it right now,” he strains. “I can’t.”

“Alexander-“

“No,” Alec says, rather harshly. “I’m going to take a shower.” He walks away, leaving a very confused Magnus. 

Magnus snaps his drink to himself before settling himself onto the bed to wait for his partner.

One and a half drinks later, Alec opens the bathroom, only slightly calmer than he was before entering. 

“Alexander?” Magnus tries. “Do you want to talk?”

“You know what I find funny?”

Oh, Magnus just knows he is not going to think this is funny. “What?”

“How I can devote my entire life to something and get nothing. How many fucking hoops I’ve jumped through and yet here I am.”

“What happened, angel?” Magnus is still a bit taken back hearing Alec curse so wildly... outside of the bed, of course, Magnus thinks with an internal smirk. 

“I just got yelled at. By the Clave. In front of my whole team. Do you want to know why?” Magnus doesn’t think he really does. “They told me that they are ashamed, that I should be ashamed. They cannot believe that I could “lower” myself so far to be seen with Downworlders. My own father was there. And he agreed with them. He told me that I’ve had my fun and I need to be responsible now. That I should be stripped of my runes for associating myself with ‘someone like Magnus.’” Alec’s hands go back to yanking in his hair. “God, the things they said about you, Mags.” His words are coming out faster, more jumbled. “You know - maybe I want them to strip my runes. Because let me tell you, if that is what I am associated with than I don’t fucking want it. You should have been there. I want to kill them- actually no. I want them to burn my runes off then I’ll fucking kill them.”

“Angel, Don’t say that-“

“But I mean it, Mag! I mean it with every fiber in my fucking being! I don’t want this anymore! My own father basically told me that he’d personally strip my runes. What the fuck am I supposed to do? I have given them everything-“ Alec’s voice catches, eyes glistening, but he keeps talking. “I devoted my entire life to being their perfect soldier. I made myself unhappy for eighteen years, Magnus! Eighteen years...” a sob catches and he slowly falls into a crouch, burying his face in his hands. “I don’t get it, Magnus. They’ve taken- oh god, they’ve taken so much. I can’t give them anymore.” His head lifts, his eyes empty as he stares at Magnus as he states, “I don’t have anything more to give.”

It’s that sentence, so broken and fragile that releases Magnus of his frozen state. He drops to the ground beside him and pulls the younger towards him, cradling his head to his own neck. He doesn’t say anything - he doesn’t even know what to say. This boy - his boy - has been rejected and abused for simply being happy. For finding love. For finding himself. And Magnus knows that there are no words that can help when you’re going through it, because it is those words that have done nothing but hurt. 

Magnus takes his love’s head in his hands and presses a lingering kiss on his forehead. He feels a breath shudder out of the Shadowhunter before the warlock whispers: “You do not have to give anything. Not here, not there. You are enough as it is, my beautiful Nephilim. It is your choice. And if they threaten anything... there is not a single thing that will stand in my way, you here me? You have done enough. It is time for you to find your happiness.”

More tears slide down Alec’s face, but there’s wonder shining in his eyes. “You are my happiness, Magnus.”

Magnus pulls him closer again, feeling the need to hide the emotion those words brought into his chest. He places a kiss on Alec’s head. “And you are mine, my angel.”

————————————

A little while later, Alec is finally resting on the bed. Magnus slips away softly to call Jace. 

“Magnus,” he sounds relieved. “How’s Alec?”

“He’s hurting. But he’s better,” he answers honestly. He hears Jace release a shaky breath. 

“Angels, Magnus. You should have seen him. They tore him to shreds and he stood there with his head held high. He didn’t back down once. The things they were saying... I wish I could burn them all.”

Magnus smiles, without humor. “You’re not the first to say that tonight.”

“We can’t keep doing this, Magnus. We have to do something! They can’t treat him like this and get away with it! We-“

“Jace,” Magnus cuts him off. “We can’t do anything tonight. And believe me I want to. I’ve had to talk myself out of portaling over to the ’beloved’ city and giving them a piece of my mind. It’s not going to help Alec. None of it will.”

Magnus feels Jace’s depletion through the phone. “You’re right. I know. But what can we do?”

“We can’t take care of Alec. He needs us more than ever. How about you and Izzy come to my loft for breakfast tomorrow? He should be surrounded by the people who love him- who aren’t asking him to do anything.”

“Okay. Okay, I’ll talk to Izzy.”

“Good. I’m going to get back to Alec now. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Magnus- thank you. For taking care of him. For bringing him peace.”

Magnus has to close his eyes for a moment, choking back the emotion in his throat. “I am only giving what he has already gifted me.”

He heard Jace sniff on the line. “Well, thank you anyway. Goodnight, Magnus.”

The line goes dead and Magnus feel the exhausting hit him like a freight train. He slowly makes his way back to the bedroom where Alec waits for him with an arm reaching for him, even in his sleep. 

The older knows that there’s only so much sleep can do, but right now, that’s what they all need. Tomorrow they will figure out the rest, tonight they will sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos make my day! Thanks for reading!


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